Swirling with Christelyn Karazin

The art of attraction isn't just about colour or creed, it's about chemistry and a whole bunch of other things. Swirling author Christelyn Karazon discusses.

Marriage Isn't for Black Women... REALLY?! {VIDEO}

Posted by Christelyn, 22 Feb

A few days ago I had the misfortune of running across a woe-is-me article called Marriage Isn’t for Black Women, published in Marie Claire of all places.  

In summary, this young black woman bears her soul to privileged, feminist white women and lends comfort to them that we are, indeed, the bottom of the barrel and even our own men don’t want us. And for that message, Marie Claire granted Tiffanie Drayton a byline.

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Tiffanie told us that she read Ralph Richard Bank’s book "Is Marriage for White People", and learned a bunch of negative statistics that black women face.

Really, sis?

Because completely NEGLECT the FACT that the entire cornerstone of his book was to encourage black women to OPEN THEIR OPTIONS A DATE INTERRACIALLY, which you make absolutely NO MENTION of. And then you go on to lament that aaaallll your black girlfriends can’t find black men to date in college, and how one friend of yours was crushed…CRUSHED! to find out that she wasn’t going to be the only baby mama of a black man who also got a white woman pregnant and told her to her face that “mixed babies are cuter.”

How is it 2018 and all your friends are still so delusional?

The author then goes on to say she defied the odds and found a good black man to have a baby by but not marry, even though he kinda, sorta, asked her in passing but not really about marriage. She goes on to mention eleventy reasons why it’s just BETTER for black women to be single mothers because….white supremacy.

I absolutely had to dispute this and did so in this video, point for point.

One commenter, Lizalieu said this and it was so good I had to share it.

The article that you read at was very enlightening. Even though I have heard that kind of talk for years I never thought much of it. It was like white noise in the back of my mind that I think may have influenced my lack of confidence when it came to men.

Whether she knows it or not that writer has contributed to what she is complaining about. That kind of thinking is so destructive to not only her and the other black women who believe the same nonsense but also to the next generation of women being raised by them.

Yes, white supremacy and systemic racism and all of that stuff does exist but it is not the beginning and end of everything, and it definitely should not ever effect your personal relationships. That writer misinterpreted the book she quoted but still somehow got her unicorn and instead of being happy she examined his horn, looked him in the mouth and decided that his dental plan was way too good so she need to create a loosing situation for herself.

The point of this post is to say thank you. Until now I hadn’t realized what a difference listening to you and Kendall St. Charles had made in my way of thinking. Before I would never have realized the insanity in that self-defeating way of looking at the world.

There you have it, folks. Thoughts...

Christelyn Karazin is the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed. She also operates the popular blog, Beyond Black & White, and operate the first forum dedicated to black women interested and/or involved in interracial relationships.

7 responses to "Marriage Isn't for Black Women... REALLY?! {VIDEO}"

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  1.   Thibis says:
    Posted: 14 Jun 21

    Hey beautiful

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  2.   Ruth116 says:
    Posted: 11 Apr 21

    Many years ago, on a now-defunct blog hosted by a BW, she wrote of an instance of a black couple giving a Career Day presentation on marriage at a school. A then-12-year-old black boy said that "Marriage is for white people!". His mother probably told him so. That kid is now in his 30's and I suspect, the sire of children by several different women, all for the sake of not "acting white".

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  3.   divanita36 says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 18

    No offense but this is silly, my mum has been married for 30years, and people around me for longer. Obviously, I'm a black woman and I intend to do the same. Marriage is for anyone who is interested in marriage, it has nothing to do with race.

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  4.   GREENFOX says:
    Posted: 26 Feb 18

    Just because you had a few bad relationships. Doesn't mean the white man is the answer. Love is a two way street. Find someone that makes you happy. There are good and bad in all races.

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  5. Posted: 25 Feb 18

    Christelyn you can't fix stupid. Who cares if there are no Black guys on campus date men of other races. Expand your options and make choose character over color.

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  6. Posted: 25 Feb 18

    Every BW that I know is married and have been married for many years. I am divorced but I was married for many years before I got divorced. This BW is silly. Marriage is for anyone that is interested in getting married. I also plan on getting married again.

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    • Ruth116 says:
      Posted: 11 Apr 21

      If I were a man, I wouldn't want that woman. It's not good to cast pearls before swine.

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