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How to Position Yourself for Serious Relationships

Posted by Leticia, 1 day ago

Hey beautiful souls! It's your girl Leticia, and today we're diving deep into something I get asked about constantly: "How do I attract someone who's looking for the real deal?"

Honey, if I had a dollar for every time someone told me they keep attracting people who just want to "see where things go" or "keep it casual," I'd be writing this from my private island! But here's the truth bomb you need to hear: serious people attract serious people. So let's talk about how to position yourself as the relationship-ready queen (or king) you are.

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Know Your Worth and Show It

First things first – you can't expect someone else to see your value if you don't see it yourself. I'm talking about that deep, unshakeable confidence that comes from knowing exactly what you bring to the table.

When I work with clients, especially those navigating interracial dating, I see this pattern over and over: they're so focused on being "chosen" that they forget they're also doing the choosing. Beautiful, you are not auditioning for love – you're interviewing for a life partner.

Your profile should radiate the energy of someone who has their life together. This doesn't mean you need to be perfect or have everything figured out. It means you're intentional about your growth, your goals, and your happiness. Talk about your passions, your dreams, and what you're building in your life. People who are serious about relationships are attracted to others who are serious about themselves.

Be Crystal Clear About Your Intentions

Listen, there's nothing wrong with casual dating if that's what you want. But if you're looking for forever love, you need to say that – not in a desperate way, but in a confident, matter-of-fact way.

I always tell my clients: "Don't hide your light under a bushel trying to seem 'cool' or 'low-maintenance.'" If you want marriage, say you're looking for marriage. If you want kids, mention that you're family-oriented. The right person will be excited by your clarity, not scared off by it.

Here's a little secret: the people who run from your relationship goals are doing you a favor. They're self-selecting out of your dating pool, leaving space for someone who wants the same things you do.

Invest in Your Whole Self

Positioning yourself for a serious relationship means being the kind of person you'd want to be in a relationship with. This goes beyond just looking good in your photos (though yes, put effort into that too!).

Work on your emotional intelligence. Can you communicate your needs clearly? Do you know how to resolve conflict in a healthy way? Are you financially responsible? Do you have hobbies and interests that make you interesting to be around?

In interracial relationships especially, emotional maturity is crucial. You need to be able to have difficult conversations about culture, family dynamics, and societal challenges. The person you're looking for needs to see that you can handle these conversations with grace and wisdom.

Choose Quality Over Quantity

I see too many people treating online dating like it's a numbers game – swiping on everyone, sending generic messages, trying to cast the widest possible net. But honey, when you're fishing for salmon, you don't use a net meant for minnows.

Be selective with your matches. Really read profiles. Look for people who have put thought and effort into presenting themselves. Send personalized messages that show you've actually paid attention to who they are.

And here's something crucial: don't be afraid to unmatch or stop talking to people who aren't meeting your energy. If someone is giving you one-word responses, taking days to reply, or seems lukewarm about getting to know you, that's valuable information. They're showing you they're not serious.

Create Meaningful Connections

Once you match with someone promising, focus on building a real connection. Ask thoughtful questions. Share stories that reveal who you are. Be vulnerable in appropriate ways.

I love when my clients tell me about conversations that went deep – talking about childhood memories, discussing their values, sharing their dreams for the future. These are the conversations that separate the serious daters from the casual ones.

Don't be afraid to bring up the deeper topics. "What does a healthy relationship look like to you?" "What role does family play in your life?" "How do you handle disagreements?" These aren't heavy questions – they're smart questions asked by someone who knows what they want.

Set Boundaries and Stick to Them

This is where a lot of people mess up, especially when they really like someone. You meet someone amazing, and suddenly you're compromising on things that matter to you because you don't want to lose them.

But here's what I know after years of coaching: compromising your standards doesn't make someone more likely to commit to you. It makes them less likely to respect you.

If you need regular communication, don't accept someone who disappears for days. If you're looking for exclusivity after a certain point, don't accept indefinite "casual" dating. If you want someone who's enthusiastic about you, don't settle for someone who's treating you like an option.

Be Patient but Proactive

Finding the right person takes time, and that's okay. But being patient doesn't mean being passive. Continue to put yourself out there. Keep optimizing your profile. Stay open to meeting people in different ways.

I've seen clients find their perfect match after months of dating, and I've seen others find theirs within weeks. The timeline isn't what matters – it's staying true to what you want and not settling for less because you're tired of waiting.

Trust Your Instincts

Finally, and this is so important: trust your gut. When someone is genuinely interested in building something serious with you, you'll feel it. They'll be consistent in their communication. They'll make plans in advance. They'll be curious about your life and invested in getting to know you.

Don't ignore red flags because someone checks other boxes. Don't make excuses for behavior that doesn't align with someone who's serious about relationships. Your instincts are usually right.

The Bottom Line

Positioning yourself for a serious relationship isn't about changing who you are – it's about being the fullest, most authentic version of yourself and attracting someone who appreciates exactly that. It's about being clear on what you want and confident enough to wait for it.

Remember, the right person will be excited by your relationship goals, not intimidated by them. They'll match your energy, not make you feel like you're doing all the work. And they'll see your worth without you having to convince them of it.

You deserve a love that's intentional, committed, and real. Don't settle for anything less.

What resonates most with you from this article? Have you struggled with attracting serious-minded partners, or do you have success stories to share? Drop a comment below and let's start a conversation! I love hearing from you all and learning about your dating journey. Your experiences help other readers feel less alone in this process, so please share what's on your heart.