How to spark attraction

Does More IR Marriages In China Mean More AM/BW Matches Stateside? Earlier this month, Al Jeezera reported a rise in interracial marriage between African women and Chinese men. The increase in intermarriage is a byproduct of the Chinese doing more commerce in African...

Is Black Media Responsible for Manipulating Us with #BlackLove Since 2010, my critics–many of them in so-called “black media–have argued that a site like Beyond Black & White don’t need to exist. If black women want to interracially date and marry, th...

China Struggles with 33 Million Shortage of Marriageable Women Black women thought the two million black man shortage was bad. Imagine what Chinese men are going through now that there are 33 million more men than women in their country. Where are all the women? ...

You Won't Believe What White Men are Saying About Marry Black Women We once had a video where we discussed 6 reasons White Men and Black Women marriages last the longest. Now a lot of folks might not agree but there are statistics supporting all this. Black women and ...

Rachel Lindsey "Followed Her Heart" and Picked Bryan Abasolo So…The Bachelorette had a pretty dramatic ending, with Peter “petering out” and Bryan emerging as the champion. I have to say, Peter was a complete letdown. He’s every guy who tells a girl she...

Serena Graces Vogue and Gives Us All #SwirlingGoals Serena and baby Olympia grace the cover of Vogue’s February issue, and I can just tell by looking this little one keeps mommy busy.

New 'Bewitched' Reboot Has an Interracial Component and... I HATE It Coming from ‘the girl who swirls,’ and the co-author of Swirling: How to Date, Match & Relate, Mixing Race, Culture, and Creed, you would think any media representations of interracial couples...

If you're so happy swirling, why do you write about black men? I had the honor of having one of my blogs reposted on Lipstick Alley, a gossip site that largely caters to black women. It even was a trending topic for a day. It spawned hundreds of responses and eve...

The Interracial Element You Might Have Missed in "Bird Box" [SPOILER] The Netflix film, Bird Box is a definitive hit. Produced by Sandra Bullock, the sci-fi horror film where an unknown force compels people to commit suicide is comprised of a ragtag group of people bar...

Lessons to learn from black male swirlers Black men have been dating interracially in greater numbers and for far longer than black women have. Historical data shows that once it was legal to date interracially (in America), they were the fir...

Korean Men Dish On What They Think of Black Women In this video, Korean men dish their opinions about black women and reveal their attraction and admiration of them.

The New York Times Notices More IR Commercials, Too. As I just watched yet another interracial couple featured in a Progressive Insurance ad, (you know, the ones where the kids start turning into their parents) I get a Facebook notification that the New...

This Curvy Girl Got Lots of Dates on Interracial Dating Central I just LOVE getting letters like this! The kind that are such inspiration to many. Well, ‘QueenEkuba', is her handle. She shares her story about her journey on Interracial Dating Central. Have a rea...

Raise Your Hand If You're Tired of Black Men Telling the World Who Black Women DON'T Like. First, it was Chris Rock. Now it’s Steve Harvey. Both of these comedians freely claim to know with absolute certainty who black women want to date. Steve Harvey thinks neither white women or black...

Why Rachel Lindsay and Newsweek Show That "Swirling" Is STILL Relevant I wrote Swirling: How to Date, Mate and Relate, Mixing Race, Culture and Creed back in 2012. Upon it's publishing date, it was met with excitement, a celebration of how far we’ve come, and unfortun...

What?! Successful, Non-Black Men Don't Like Curly and Kinky Hair?! {Watch the Video} I interviewed several non-black men who are high-achieving and date black women on this issue, and all of them basically said that if they wanted a woman with straight hair...

The Reason African Women Find it EASIER Than AA Women to Swirl Is there anything African women know about IR relationships that we African American women don’t know? Do they have any tips they should be sharing with us? Let's find out...

A Letter of Encouragement to Black Women from Interracially Married Man I received this letter yesterday that so touched me, and I was delighted that he asked me to share this with you. With all the racially-charged rhetoric and fear-mongering, notes like this bring so mu...

Stuff You Should Know About Your Online Dating Profile That You Probably Don't... Before I go into this, I just have to give an FYI…I did the following profile critique to use as an example, so please…don’t send me yours. No offense, but people charge money for this, and my t...

Interview: Interracial Marriage as a Baby Boomer Black female baby boomers grew up in a time where race relations in America were tense. Many black women of this generation are very hesitant to date interracially or marry interracially. I intervie...

Are Black Women More "Submissive" to White Men? There’s a lot of salty complaints from men of our culture who say that black women magically become more feminine when they are paired with white men. When a non-black man enters the picture, black ...

Are Millennial Women Absolutely Deluding Themselves About Dating. I’ve recently made a commitment to myself to read more. In an effort to have some accountability in that department, I bought a subscription to the New York Times weekend edition. I absolutely MUST ...

A motorcycle photo drew him to his interracial love Vallina, 45, jokingly calls herself a cougar. She met her husband, Kelly, 41, on this site. They probably wouldn't have met if Kelly hadn't noticed a photo of a very pretty woman on a motorcycle and d...

Chicago Professor Writes Book Encouraging Black Women to Marry White Men I’ve gotten about a dozen messages about a new interracial dating book in circulation. Northwestern University professor, Cheryl Judice, author of Interracial Relationships with Black Women and Whit...

QOTW: Do Rainbeaus Go For Bald/Short-Haired Women? Hair is very important to Black women, especially when it comes to the issue of desirability. With me discussing the issue of hair and black women is my friend Victoria. Victoria wears her hair really...

Watch: Is "Pink Peen" Aversion a Real Thing When it Comes to Interracial Dating?! Good golly molly. They list of creative excuses black women come up with for the reasons why they can’t date interracially is endless. Add to the list now is the aversion to “pink peen” or pink ...

"Can You Help White Men Ask More Black Women Out?" The note: Hi Christelyn, I was wondering if you could do a video to help get more white men to ask black women out? You see, unlike black men and white women, there is a disconnect between black wome...

Meet 38-Year-Old Woman Who Has Never Had a Date! 38 year old woman who has never been on a date, kissed or had a boyfriend asks: "Can someone that lacks so much experience in dating and relationships find it at this advance age?!"

Valuable Advice ALL Black Women Can Use As black women, we face a unique set of challenges at the intersection of our race and sex. Cultural mores, seen as “the done thing” in the black community, such as birthing out of season, accepti...

Critics Coming Around to Swirling... After Trashing Us. There have been a lot of prior critics of this platform and the general idea of black women entertaining the romantic overtures of non-black men as of late. I find this interesting. Especially after ...

Could Interracial Love End Racism? Georgetown law professor, Sheryl Cashin thinks that interracial love is the cure for racism and white supremacy. I know; some of you are rolling your eyes. But think about it for a second. When Unc...

So... What Do Black Men REALLY Think About Black Women Dating Interracially? I know some of the fans here are probably saying, “Who cares?” You may not, but I guarantee you that there are many, many, MANY black women who read this blog still incredibly concerned about what...

Matthew Knowles Blames His Mother for His Colorism. Who's Surprised? In an article that initially appeared in Ebony but then mysteriously disappeared that Madame Noire reported Matthew Knowles, patriarch of Beyonce and Solange, started dating his now ex-wife Tina beca...

Match.com Says 35% of New Marriages Happening Online Online behemoth Match.com recently announced at the annual “Singles in America” study by Match Group the 35% of marriages occur online. This is huge. Just 12 years ago it was 3%. What is more, 60...

Do Today's Men REALLY Just Want to Be Women? As a woman in her mid-forties, I have been looking on with increasing horror the societal moves towards blurring gender lines to the point of complete neutrality, or worse; guiding men to lean towards...

White Men, Black Women, THIS is When You KNOW It's a Fetish. How many of you are absolutely fed up with how some people try to make non-black men (especially white men) feel guilty about having a preference for black women and label it a fetish. This notion has...

Kendall St. Charles: "Black Women Demand MORE of White Men" A very interesting conversation came to pass when I created this meme and distributed throughout our social media pages. There were a few quotes that stood out to me that we should discuss. “They w...

Would You Learn Another Language to Expand Your IR Dating Prospects? One of my fans confided in me that she was so set on dating Asian men that she learned Mandarin and Korean. She then set out for an extended trip to China to teach English. She never came back to the ...

Black Woman Sued for Mocking White Woman's Interracial Relationship When are we going to realize that other ecosystems do act like everything is a tiff at the backyard barbeque? The New York Daily News recently reported that a black woman making fun of a white woman i...

QOTW: My Daughter's Father Doesn't Want Her to Like Non-Black Boys I received this note from a fan… Hi Christelyn! I need some advice…So I have a 6-year-old daughter & we live in a majority white community. I love it. Anyway, a little white boy has a crush...

An Open Letter to Light Skinned "Sisters" Who Bash Dark Girls for Swirling Dear Light-Skinned-Pro-Black-Nothing-Butta-Brotha-For-Me Women, I need to ask you a favor. I’ve noticed lately in social media a lot of posts and videos with light skinned, silky-haired black(ish) ...

Simply Precious: Gabby Sidibe is in love! Trigger Warning Before I begin, I will commence this blog with a trigger warning. We briefly mention Gabby’s weight in this post, but that it is not the focal point of this article. The focus o...